I cannot Sell Myself!
How to speak with pride and confidence about our career successes?
Are you stressed about talking about yourself, your strengths, or your achievements?
Do you feel vulnerable because you can’t hide behind a project, a company or a team??
As a result, you wonder if that photo is the right one, if your CV is clear enough, if you have missed something important, and end up thinking you lack important skills, so why just applying? Probably no one will want you!
I know the feeling. After 20 years as an employee, when I had to market my services as an entrepreneur, it was much of myself that I had to put out there and make it attractive enough for clients. Not easy for the introvert I am.
Or the many times when, terrified of looking like an idiot, I had to call employers for applications with my still hesitant German. Pure stress.
It took me some years of self-discovery and a series of successes and failures before finally accepting these 3 following trues, who made miracles in the way I share my message today
1. Accept that you don’t know everything!
Employers appreciate honesty. If they certainly value expertise, leadership, team spirit and other requirements for a specific role, they end up wondering whether they can trust you.
After all, humans like the familiar and to be surrounded by like-minded people, serious about their work, competent for sure but certainly not liars. Speaking with conviction about your strengths and passions for a position is extremely important. Now, admitting that you may not know everything will both put the pressure out of yourself, and it will reassure the employer that you are honest, and therefore reliable.
Being authentic and accepting ourselves just as we are at this time of our life is not an easy task. But believe me, if this is a struggle for you, I recommend you to start all the self-development work to start taking distance with this hurdle. Self-love is one of the most challenging task of our lives. Some people have been blessed to start their first 10 years in an environment which reinforced their self-image, and trust in themselves and capacities. Others had to take another path. But we all can learn that imperfection is what make us beautiful and… attractive. If you have an account on Insight timer and want to be inspired by a truly authentic person, listen to Sam Allen’s recent podcast about “authenticity”.
2. Spread positive energy
Our authenticity makes us unique. It makes us shine in the crowd. Very often, under stress, we forget that our energy carries messages about us.
Now, sending your particular energy or aura to the world can be scary. It means taking the risk to become vulnerable to others possible remarks, to feel hurt by their disapproval. And this wakes up all kind of fears, in particular the one of feeling rejected. Like Brene Brown in her TedEx talk the power of vulnerability. “People want to avoid feeling the shame of being disconnected from others”.
One way, to counteract this emotion is to seriously think about WHY you want this job. Not because “this is a job/I need to pay my bills/it’s a prestigious company which will boost my ego”.
- Why will this job make me get up with joy and optimism every morning?
- What is this deep interest of mine that this job will allow me to explore even more?
- What do I like in this company, or among the people who work there?
If you know the answers to these WHYs, you will automatically create a kind of positive, energizing and empowering energy for others. Don’t underestimate this. I know it’s intangible, but many recruiters can instinctively detect when a deeper purpose is driving a person. And we know that positive emotions in a group drive better performance, better relationships and better health.
By training our brain with positive thoughts and focusing on the present moment, we can really gain other sustainable perspectives on ourselves and life. If you are interested in this topic, I invite you to have a look at my 6-week program on Positive Intelligence.
So how do I get this right energy and speak with ease about myself? Be selective in your job applications. Put all efforts in making your research on some job offers where the 3 most important tasks (often listed on the top of an ad) find an inner resonance with you.
3. Be proud of who you already are
For some people, this is a really, really hard part. When we have been working in a field which does not deeply resonate with who we are, we feel lost, like if we lost our identity. Even if we did accomplish much in our current or previous jobs, we struggle to speak about our performances.
The first part starts with acknowledging and accepting our dark sides,- They live within us for a reason. They want to show us the path. The more we deny them, the more they pop up in our lives.
How long are you going to “keep your hand on the hot stove”? It’s painful. I know that. However, I also know that one can learn to change perspective and believe that communicating about our qualities and talents do not make us an imposter or a bragger!
“By identifying all the layers of dust that cover the diamond that lives inside us,
we can make peace with all our facets,
be proud of who we are,
and start to live in tune with ourselves.”
It’s not about making someone find us interesting, but rather about making our authentic self attractive to others!
Finally, it’s about offering, not selling!
If you feel that being supported by a professional, not only for your application and interview, but also to rediscover your true talents, would be the best option for you, I invite you to contact me a 30 min free of charge chat.
I am looking forward to hearing about your story and see if I can help.
Photo by Aleksandra Sapozhnikova on Unsplash